Memories
by cuttestnik
Summary: Deeks doesn't like Halloween. Some painful memories are associated with it. One team member finds out. Will he ever have good Halloween memories? For the "NCISLA Magazine Deeks Challenge"


**Author's Note:- so this is just the one shot I wrote about "NCISLAMagazine Deeks Challenge"**

**Disclaimer:- Well I was busy with stuff so I still don't own NCIS LA.**

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**"The best way to forget bad memories is by making good memories"**

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"Deeks at least tell me the reason why you don't want to come," said Kensi.

Okay, starting from the beginning, it's Halloween and as we don't have any case, Hetty has arranged a Halloween party for all of us; which I declined. So here I am, on my couch with my one and only partner, Kensi, trying to convince me to come with her. The problem here is I don't celebrate Halloween- let's just say some painful memories are associated with it.

So I answer her by saying, "Kensi, it's a long story, I'll tell you later on."

I really like Kensi's company and we have already planned to spend our Christmas together, but Halloween is a different story and right now, I just want to sit with Monty on my couch and drink beer and forget everything and for Kensi to go enjoy the party. But when has Kensi Blye ever done what I want?

Kensi answered me with, "No. I want to know the story right now."

Why didn't I see that coming?

"Kens, it's a long story. Aren't you getting late for the party?" I tell her, trying to change the subject.

Kensi gives me a roll of her eyes and then sighs and says, "I'm not going anywhere without you Deeks. And you know what, I am all ears Deeks."

I sigh and realize that I am wasting our time and if Kensi wants to know something, she will have it her way and there is no way that she is letting this go. Also, if I tell her then she might understand and may not force me to go to the party. So just to tell her, I look at her, and find her looking at me with those mismatched eyes I love and all I find in them is concern and care for me.

I decided not to waste any more time and I tell her, "There was this one time, I was 11 years old and I wanted to go to my school's Halloween party. We were poor at that time but I told my mom that I really wanted to go and I begged her to allow me and she did. Not only did she allow me to go but she brought a costume for me. I really don't know what she did but she got me a superman costume for Halloween."

I stop after saying this, tears were forming in my eyes and then I continued, "I was so happy Kensi, my mom and I were going to the party and dad..." I stopped again, not knowing what to say and then I continue again, "He was out with his friends and said he would come home late and thus we had decided to go and come back ASAP without him knowing. So my mom and I, we both were ready and I was wearing that superman costume mom brought for me and we were walking towards the door, smiling and before we reach for door, it opened up and he entered."

To which Kensi softly asks, "Your father right?"

I nod at her and continue, "He was drunk and we both were really scared, especially mom, and she just pushed me behind herself and before I even knew what was happening, mom and dad were having an argument. He was yelling at her, asking where we were going, and why didn't we tell him and from where she got the dress. Mom very calmly told him that we were just going to the school's Halloween party and asked him for permission to go there because I really wanted to. But he got angry and started beating her and didn't stop until she collapsed on the floor." The tears which were in my eyes started to fall and I couldn't even stop them.

Kensi raised her hand and wiped away my tears and in teary voice said, "I am so sorry Deeks. You don't have to say it. I am sorry."

To which I say, "No Kensi, I have to. I have always kept these things inside me and the burden is weighing me down." Then I stop for a second and take a deep breath and tell her, "Turns out, Mom had stolen some money from his pocket to buy the costume for me and he figured it out. Beating my mom wasn't enough and he starting beating me. I tried to escape and ran upstairs."

I stopped again, it was really hard. I swallowed hard before continuing, "He was way beyond angry and running upstairs was my biggest mistake because my mom had regained consciousness. He then again started beating her. I heard her scream again and she was in so much pain... But she just kept saying Marty don't come down and it just made him angrier. I heard him tell my mom to shut up but she didn't and he just kept beating her and I was upstairs and was listening to her screams. And then all of sudden the screams stopped and there was silence downstairs. I waited for few minutes before going down. I was on the stairs when I saw my mom was lying on the floor and was bleeding and he was... He was wielding a...um... shotgun. I ran upstairs again and grabbed the gun that Ray gave me and when I went down... He... He had it pointed at my mom and before I knew it, I shot him."

I released a breath that I didn't know I was even holding and to be honest it felt good after sharing this with her. While saying all this, I was looking down at my lap and then I turned to see her. She had tears rolling down her face, hell she had shed more tears than me.

I feel guilty for making her cry and then I said, "Kens, I am sorry. I didn't want to make you cry."

She was in complete shock but recovered quickly and wiped away her tears and said, "Where on earth are you from? Why are you saying sorry when I should be the one saying it?"

"Kens, you don't have to be sorry and it's none of your fault that all that happened on Halloween. Hell I don't have single happy memory of Halloween. Halloween always meant that he would be home and would drink more and if some kids came to ask for treats, he would get angry and beat the hell out of both of us."

Then Kensi looked at me and asks, "Deeks that happened years ago and it's none of your fault too. You don't have any happy memory of Halloween? I mean a memory from college time or at LAPD? Not a single one?"

"Nope. After that I went to foster care, some were ok and some were worse than this but I didn't celebrate Halloween anywhere. The first foster home was worse than this and the lady knew what happened and she told me that if I celebrated Halloween she will beat me too and since then I have this fear that if I ever celebrate it something wrong will happen. So, in other homes which were nice, I didn't celebrate, I was way too scared. In law school, well, I didn't have money sometimes to buy food for me, from where would I have the money to get a costume? And well LAPD, you know how they treat me so there is no chance I would ever celebrate anything with them. So to answer your question, no I don't have a single happy memory of Halloween, how can I when reality was much scarier than Halloween."

"Then we definitely have to go to the party" said Kensi.

"But Kensi..." is all I managed to say before she cut me off by saying.

"Deeks someone once told me that the only way to forget bad memories is by creating good memories."

"Really Kensi? You are using my quote on me," I said.

To which she replied, "You said that when we celebrated our first Christmas together. I was very reluctant to do anything and then you said that to me and I went with you and now we have already planned to spend Christmas together. This means you are coming with me and this discussion is over. Thanks for sharing everything with me and it means a lot. Now get up because you have to change, I even have brought costume for you."

"Costume for me, I already told you in OPS that I'm not coming. How can you be so sure that I will come with you?" I asked, being quite surprised.

She smiled at me and said, "Remember you said once, that if I go, you go too. That's how we roll right?"

I nodded and she continued, "So I decided that I'll try to convince you to come with me and if you say yes we will both go and if you say no, we will stay here and celebrate Halloween and in either case we need costumes, so I brought costumes for both of us."

I was quite shocked, it's very rare for Kensi to do such things but to be honest it feels great. I couldn't help but smile at her and she returns the smile and then I ask, "So Kensalina, what have you brought for me?"

She got up from the couch and got a bag which she had kept near the door. No wonder I didn't see it, since she had come in with her own key. She came back and sat next to me, and gave me her biggest smile. Okay, she was definitely up to something.

My thoughts were interrupted when she took out my costume from the bag, and my jaw dropped. Shocked, I asked her, "OMG You did not...?"

She smiled and said, "Yes I did. I didn't know the story but I knew you would love it but now... "And she stopped, not knowing what to say next.

I looked at her and then at the costume, and I didn't believe she did that for me and she brought this for me.

I recovered from the shock and told her, "You brought superman's costume for me Kens."

She nodded nervously, trying to figure it out whether I like it not.

I needed to get her out of her misery and so I told her, "I Love it Kens. Thank you. Wow, you remembered I love Superman."

She replied immediately, saying, "Of course I do. Just because I got your birthday wrong doesn't mean I don't remember things about you."

"Kens, I didn't mean that."

"It's ok Deeks. Now, you want to know what I brought for myself?"

"Ok, changing the subject, I'll play along. So what have you brought for yourself Fern?"

She smiled and pulled out her dress and showed it to me. Okay, please someone tell me this is not happening. "Wonder Woman? Really Fern?" is all I manage to ask.

"Yeah well you do call me Wonder Woman and she has worked with Superman right?" Kensi answered while giving me a great smile.

I smiled at her and suddenly I smirked at her and before I said anything, Kensi says, "Don't even think about it. Now, go and change and then I have to change too."

And before I said anything she again said, "Separately Deeks." God, she knows me too well.

But I didn't go inside, I just sat there holding my costume, thinking if something goes wrong than what? I don't want to go out and ruin Hetty's party.

Kensi sensed something was wrong and asked, "Everything okay Deeks?"

I looked at her and I knew she would understand because she always does and I asked her, "Is it okay if we stay here and celebrate Halloween? I don't want to go there... um, you know, don't wanna spoil Hetty's party."

She understood and knew that there was still some fear inside me and so she smiled and answered, "Of course Deeks, we can stay here and celebrate but you have to wear the costume."

We changed and stayed at home, and celebrated and the rest of evening went awesome. It was the best Halloween I have ever had. There is still some fear but I know it will go as at least now I have one good memory of Halloween and Kensi and I have planned next Halloween together also. So now there are many happy memories of Halloween on the way, and with Kensi around, everything will be fine. It has to be

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**I hope you guys liked it.**

**don't forget to leave review. **

**Much love...**

**Nikita.**


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